There was once a girl who believed in faith and love. She tried her best to be nice to everyone, especially towards the one who likes her, and the one whom she likes until one day, she met a guy who happens to be a fallen angel. The guy started to display interest towards her. The girl was very naive and she genuinely thought that the guy really like her. Of course, it is nothing but a lie. The guy is a fallen angel who doesn't believe in love anymore. He is merely seeking for a temporary solace before he moves to another phase of life. So, he transformed himself into a devil and seduced the girl. The girl genuinely believed and treasured him. In the end, she found out the truth and was heartbroken. She was devastated. She kept asking God why must he picked her and destruct her. Afterall, he was once an angel too. Why must he chose to destroy the love and faith in her, and made her a fallen angel?
I guess, love is nothing but an abstract concept. The devil continues to move on with his life and live happily ever after. On the other hand, the girl is now a fallen angel who can never return to the heaven. She doesn't dare to believe in love anymore.
The ugly truth is, the girl should have taken more time to evaluate the man rather than being blinded by love.
This beautiful video reminded me of my childhood. I have a beautiful childhood. As a town girl, I had the benefit of playing with friends in park rather than hiding at home playing nintendo or reading books.[ PS: The main actress in this video is my Convent senior =) ]
I remember we always come out in the evening to play galah panjang with our friends [a type of game where you have to run past your friends without being caught by their hands.] I was the leader among our friends due to my height [was the tallest among them], and I explored bushes and lands with them [ when in fact, it was just a small bush that connects one park to another]. I was afraid of snakes as I walked with them, but I always pretend to be brave. Those were the silly days.
I was very boyish back then. I dressed like a boy, and I despised wearing skirts. I played basketball with the boys, and I sweared along with them. I was quite a gangster in school, despite of the fact that I was a prefect. I remember, my teacher used to call my parents because of me sleeping in class. My teacher asked my father to stop me from mixing with the bad kids [those who play basketball] and stop playing basketball as well. I have to say, I slept in most of the classes because I have basketball practices on almost every morning, and I ended up being very tired in class. and puhlezzz, class? It's boring!
Fortunately, my father did not stop me from playing the game, and I end up becoming a role model at the end of the term as. Quite a joke, from a girl who sleeps in class, swear foul words, and who fights for her friends, to a girl who gets a role model certificate for achieving good performance in both sports and academic.
I received my first love letter in my primary. hmm, I remember I received my first flower when I was in standard 2. It was a flower picked from a garden next to my school, and it was Valentine. The boy was a popular athlete in school and I have to say, he is pretty cute! Too bad he transferred to another school the year after.
After standard 2, I started to grow and I became the ugliest girl you can ever imagine. I ate like a cow, and I grew vertically. My dad cut my hair using a bowl [literally] and thanks to that, I got myself a nickname, miss coconut head. Life was pretty simple. There were a lot of politics among the girls. I guess, this is typical in every chinese school. I was the mediator, the consultant, the love guru, and oh! the one who help her girlfriend cheats her parents so that she can have a date with her boyfriend. But, I must say, the girl forgot about me right after my help. She did not find me anymore after that and the next thing I knew when she came to me again was that she broke up with the guy, and as usual, I became the love guru for her after that.
So, I have been a love consultant at the age of 10 until now. Lol!
I transferred to an English school after my primary. I remembered I caught everyone's attention on the first week of school with my recitation on " Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow" [ not a good attention, I have to say]. It was a huge shift for me back then. From a Tomboy, I transformed to a girly girl who sings choir, cry for something silly, and hog on the phone with my girlfriends on every single minutes available. Everyday, we'll talk about some love novels we read, the fantasy we have about guys, and dramas we watched. There was a craze on Judith Mcnaught novels, My Fair Princess series, F4, Harry Potter, and etc. We wrote biographies and I will create my own poem from time to time. Oh! and I help people to write love letters tooo!!! I was pretty good with words back then. There wasn't any guy around for us to flirt with, so due to my boyish characteristic, I was the 'boy' who always charm the girls with sweet talk, and nonsense craps. Those were my Form 1 and Form 2. We had girls fight from time to time. We'll ignore each other for a minute or two, and then chit-chat like nobody's business the minute after. Ah, girls and their fickle minds!
The worst fight I have ever had was with my best friend. We did not talk to each other for half a year and I was summoned to the assistant headmistress's office because of that [ Her mother was the assistant headmistress]. ah, those were the days!
Form 4 and 5 were the times we were arranged to classes according to our stream. The girls started to be fashionable with their dressing, with colourful bras beneath that plain white innocent baju kurung [our uniform] and beautiful dresses inside their bags, so that they can change their clothes after school to date their boys. The Highschool boys would always find a chance to hit on the girls because it was an honour to date a Convent girl. They would try their best to charm our girls, doing something like this:
Handphone was a huge issue back then, and the problematic girls would be sent to the counselling office so that the teachers can counsel them like their mothers and they will end up crying on their way to class. Despite of that seemingly remorseful expression, they would always return to the original state after that, with smarter and better ways to avoid being caught by the teachers and prefects.
You'll see girls holding hands all the time, sticking to each other all the time, even to the toilet. Oh, the toilet is the perfect place to slack/"lepak"[loiter] You'll see the girls hanging around in the toilet, changing clothes, gossiping about the cutest boy in town, and what they did yesterday. Occassionally, you'll hear someone talking to herself in the cubicle [because that's the only place to talk with your handphone]
Back then, everyone will have a senior they admire. We will ask the one we admire to become our petsister, and it's something like a boy-girl relationship, in girls' version. There will be times when we do not know how to reject the girls, and it was quite funny, transforming from the one who admire the senior [in form 1/2] to the one being admired. In Valentine, we'll receive flowers as well.. from girls. They're yellow roses though.
I have to say, I am glad to study in Convent. Even until now, my Convent girls always stand by my side, in every ups and downs I have. Ah, those were the blissful days! =)
Men cannot eat kangkung everyday. That's the ugly truth. Just like a cat, When there's a fish swimming in front of them, they will pounce on the fish and answer their instincts, no matter how gentlemen they appear to be.
Of course, there are men out there who can control their instincts because of love and commitments. I admire these men and I respect them for who they are. After all, it is always harder to control than to give in. I think, the value of a man lies not in how many women he has slept, but how many women he has resisted/rejected for the one he loves. Same as a woman, the value of a woman lies not on how good she is in bed, but how much she can control her instinct/resist pressure for that one man in her life. Cheating is getting common these days. For girls, what you can do is to empower yourself, and not put yourself as a victim to this unfortunate consequence.
It has been a stereotype that usually the girlfriend is the victim and the third party is the slut. The truth is, a third party can be a victim as well. Afterall, a relationship is a reciprocal interaction. It is rare that a girl will actively attract a man who has another girl by his side, unless she was misled/ unaware of it. [ and of course, usually it is the man who actively seeks for the attentions and enjoy being at the receiving end. ]
So, for the girlfriend, if your man cheats on you, don't point the arrow to the third party straight away, because it may be your man who seeks for the girl's attention at the first place or perhaps, he lies to the third party and mislead her into believing that you're no longer the girl he wants.
I hope you will know that when a man truly loves/wants you, he will have only you in his eyes/mind, and he will stop wandering around. He will avoid those opportunities by being cautious with his words towards ladies, by mentioning your name all the time, and proclaiming his love for you. But if he doesn't, then you should watch out. Never ever allow them to use excuses such as "I need personal space" or "I am a chauvinistic man, take it or leave it" to manipulate your mind. So, if you happen to bump into this kind of man, no matter how much you love him, I hope you will choose the word "leave it". Say is easier than done, so, I shall leave the choice in your hand. But, from time to time, I hope you will know that your happiness lies in your hand. No one can decide what's good for you other than you yourself.
Sometimes, it is your silence tolerance and sweet compromise/understanding that encourage him to cheat on you. You may be stupid enough to continue loving him, but do not be idiot enough to trust him completely.
For the unfortunate third parties [ I meant, those who are the victims of circumstances, and not those who actively become a bitch] I have learned that there're tonnes of fishermen out there fishing for love and attention. You may wonder what is a fisher@ fisherman. This is a term specifically used for guys ( in a relationship or married) who will diversify their attentions to various girls (ie, sending out baits) and hoping for any of them to take up the bait. From time to time, girls will fall for the trick. The unfortunate ones, will end up being wounded and hurt. If you're the unfortunate ones, I hope you know that you're not the only ones who had this experiences. There are tonnes of girls out there who suffered the same. For these girls, I hope you will treat this as a life experience, and learn from your mistake. In any event, I hope you will stand up and tell the world that you're the victim, and not the predator. End of the day, you have to learn to be empowered and stand up for yourself.
If you're unfortunate enough to got yourself trapped by a fisherman, and by circumstances, he has turned you from a nice human to a half-dead fish, do not fret, for one day, when you have fully recovered from your wound, you would be a beautiful mermaid, for you have one beautiful soul which has survived from a bad experience.
End of the day, as a girl, always trust your instinct. You will know when a man still have feeling for you or not. When he wants to cheat, there's nothing to stop him and it can be rather impossible to track. What you can do, is pray. Pray that you will not bump into one of these people.
Always remember one more thing as well, guys treat women as investments. So same rule should apply to women as well. No matter how much you love this person, do not put 100% into the relationship. They appreciate challenges ( if they really love you) . I mean challenges in providing you security, recognition and protection, and not those unreasonable demands [girls, be nice to those real nice guys out there k]. So, learn to let them fight for your love. Do not put yourself in a position where you can't withdraw from the relationship because you've invested or sacrificed too much. Only put in to the extent where you can afford to lose it. Of course, say is easier than done, I just hope that you will always learn to exert control, and in the event that you've put in too much, just treat it as a beautiful scar/learning process rather than keep dwelling on the past. Afterall, I am sure you both have had beautiful memories together.
For those men who want to cheat, my only advice is this, don't cheat. Period.
I know, I have no right to preach on this. Afterall, I have bumped into failures in my past relationship and I aint a perfect person who have committed no mistake before. I loved passionately, and I fell deeply. Sometimes, I'll ask God why did he give me such a test. Why did God pick me and made me suffer. I hope I will be able to find out the answer someday.
Every girl is an angel. You may have became a fallen angel because of the wounds inflicted on you, but never let that stop you from loving someone who truly deserves you.
Writing
Writing sharpens my thoughts. This is a forum for me to express myself on things that are happening around me. I don’t write beautiful English, but I write from heart.
PS: Decided to go back to blogspot. It's much easier and user-friendly.
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