I hate you for not letting me to read your books when I was young, for being so bossy and demanding, asking me to live out of my comfort zone, forcing me to grow up/pick up myself and to not even let me have own time ever since I am back from the UK! Of course, like any other typical Taurean, I bet I am one hell of a rebellious sister to you! haha. At times, you're like a sister from hell to me, but for all the time that we have had, I know that there is no other sister that I wish to have apart from you.
Now that you're gone, I miss you more than anyone else, and I cry everytime I thought of the moments that we shared. The tug-o-war that we always have when it comes to who should bear more responsibility, the pillow talk sessions that we have when we go to bed together, the problem-solving sessions, the nonsensical arguments down from something as small as a camera charger to our future paths or even seeking for a room to stay, the stories that you have for me everyday (you have such an interesting life!). Listening to you is an amusement on its own, not to mention, arguing with you is another pleasure! haha =) [Although, I have to say, I am always at the loser end, because I just can't bear looking at you being upset or angry at me for long]
You have been my idol, my muse, my pillar, and my light of guidance. I always look upon you as someone who is much more active than me, someone who is sociable, able to adapt to new situations well, bold and adventurous. On the other hand, I am timid, cold (not as sociable as you), fear of unknown, stable/boring, and rigid. I guess growing under your shadow make me become much more dependent and weak, because I know you're always there for me when I need an answer. I always turn to you when I have issue with anything (in fact, everything) in life, up from my education path, which firm to choose, whether I have done enough for the family, for my friends, to even which dress to pick! ( I have really horrible fashion sense!).
Of course, I hope I have been a good sister to you too, to offer you good guidance in your moments of darkness, to offer you smiles and optimism when you're feeling down, and to offer you supports when you need to make a bold change in your life.
It aches my heart that I can't help you as much as I wanted to with your wedding due to my work schedules. I remember that I handled every single thing for our brother's wedding, and yet I am not able to offer the same for you. At the end of day, I always ask myself whether I have been a good sister to you. I am not sure if I am the best sister one could ever have, but I hope you know that for you, I offer my best. =)
I guess, wedding is just a procedure, a rigid ceremony to celebrate your happiness with people who cares for you and whom you care for them too. One does not need an extravagant wedding, when the partner you have is one whom you wanted the most. I am glad that you have found Jamie, a guy who is passionate, loving, caring, and compatible with you in every manner. It was a very heart-warming wedding, and I am touched and happy to look at how much love and attention he has for you. I am very proud to have both of you as my sister and brother-in-law and your love story is one that I will always share with people around me.
I still remember when you first told me about him chasing after you, and I was there convincing you to move forward with this relationship. With hindsight, I think I probably would not do the same, especially now that I realized my encouragement has made me to not have you by my side anymore! ( I am just kidding! I will still do the same if I am given the chance to repeat the scenes and memory). We both know that it is not easy to find one whom we love and love us in return, and care for us as much as how our family care for us.
The wedding was a good trigger for me to have a good flashback on what we've gone through together in seeking for the right person for you. I still remember teaching you on how to flirt ( oh my god! silly days. I was very naive back then), getting books such as Women from Venus, Men from Mars (those useless books!), and even scrutinizing the guys around you (ahha! I want the best and nothing lesser than that for you). We both know that it wasn't a journey of roses and flowers for you, and because of that, looking at you and Jamie makes me so happy that it's as if I am the one who found my right partner! =)
I guess, like any other growing phase, a caterpillar has to grow into a butterfly and learn to fly on its own. As much as I hope to continue slacking and growing under your shelter, I have to learn the fact that it is time for me to spread my wing and learn to carve my own path without you by my side. To learn to make my own decision without consulting you or anyone, to be bold in chasing after my dream, and to be as adventurous as how I want to be. I will miss you a lot, and will always reminisce the good moments we have.
I am looking forward to see you in the States, and to see my beautiful nephews and nieces. Till then, please take good care of yourself and stay happy! =) You have always been the adventurous, sweet and funny/friendly girl that everyone likes and I am sure you will continue living the same good life there! =)
Love you much.
Hugs,
Your baby sis.
